Feelings are never wrong, they’re just feelings.

Feelings are the way that our body conveys certain experiences back to us and they’re constantly changing. Generally, a feeling will last about 2-90 seconds. So if we find that we are still experiencing a certain emotion after a period of time, that’s usually a sign we are either clinging to the emotion or trying to push it away.

It’s helpful to acknowledge how you feel.

“I feel guilty” doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong; it just means that this is your fleeting feeling for the moment. When we accept our feelings, as they are, with warmth, acceptance, and non-judgment, they will keep moving.

When we hold on to a feeling or try to avoid it, it will stick with us. You can’t get around feelings; they will wait you out.

Acknowledge how you feel. Greet it like you would an old friend… “hi guilt, I see you’ve stopped in to visit” and allow it to leave just as you would a guest stopping by your home for a short visit.

If you have a difficult time bringing warmth, acceptance, and non-judgment to your feelings, borrow this exercise from Rick Hanson’s Just One Thing and bring to mind a person or animal who loves you deeply and sense their kindness and gentleness seeping into you.

Routinely practice this exercise to soften to the experience of showing love to yourself.