Anxiety isn’t just about racing thoughts or a restless body. Over time, it can quietly damage how we see ourselves. If you’ve ever replayed conversations in your head, second-guessed every decision, or told yourself you’re “not good enough,” you’ve felt first-hand exactly how anxiety can affect self-esteem.

This doesn’t actually mean that you are a less-worthy human, of course; it just means that your brain’s alarm system is working overtime. With practice, though, you can learn ways to improve both your anxiety and the way you see yourself.

How anxiety impacts self-esteem

When anxiety pops up and lingers, it can start to shape our beliefs about ourselves. Some common ways this shows up include:

Constant self-doubt- replaying decisions or conversations, wondering if you did or said “the wrong thing.”
Perfectionism and fear of failure- avoiding new opportunities because the “what ifs” feel too loud.
Negative self-talk- hearing an inner critic that says you’re not capable or not enough.
Avoidance- stepping back from relationships, school, or career opportunities, which can reinforce feelings of inadequacy.

These patterns can feel heavy, but they’re not a reflection of your true worth. Rather, they’re signs of a nervous system trying its best to protect you.

Why this happens

Anxiety is part of our survival wiring. Your body’s alarm system is built to look for danger, but when it becomes overactive, it can treat everyday experiences like threats. Over time, the anxious thoughts that pop up (“I’m going to fail,” “I can’t handle this”) can start to feel like truths, and that’s when self-esteem takes the biggest hit.

Knowing that this isn’t a personal flaw but a brain-body response can be the first step in loosening anxiety’s grip on your self-esteem.

Small steps to rebuild confidence

You don’t have to overhaul your whole mindset at once. Gentle, consistent steps can help strengthen self-esteem alongside calming anxiety:

Name the critic. When self-critical thoughts show up, label them: “That’s anxiety talking.” This creates space between you and the thought.
Self-validation. Remind yourself: “It makes sense I feel this way. It doesn’t mean it’s the whole truth.” Validation takes the sting out of self-doubt.
Celebrate small wins. Confidence grows from action. Did you answer a text you were nervous about? Speak up in class or at work? Write it down and recognize it as evidence of your strength.
Values Check-In. Instead of asking, “What if I fail?” try, “What really matters to me right now?” Letting your values, rather than your fear, guide small choices can rebuild trust in yourself.
Coping Ahead. If you know a situation will trigger anxious self-talk, mentally rehearse how you’ll handle it. Picture the steps you’ll take and how you’ll support yourself after.

A gentle reminder

Anxiety may try to convince you that you’re not enough, but your worth is never defined by worry, mistakes, or self-doubt. With small steps like naming the critic, validating your feelings, and making choices rooted in your values, you can quiet anxiety’s voice and strengthen your sense of self.

The process takes time, but every small act of compassion toward yourself is proof that your self-worth is intact and growing.