By Marlo Torrelli, LPC, NCC  

Part of being a therapist is helping my clients identify when their emotions and experiences are being invalidated. After they can identify it, they can begin to build some immunities to the shame, self-doubt, and worthless feelings that often develop from this type of interaction (especially when it’s chronic).

It’s safe to say that I have really good job security, I suppose, because invalidation, minimizing, and gaslighting are collectively a social EPIDEMIC! 

If you are being told that your emotions aren’t real, that you are “dramatic,” that you shouldn’t feel the way you feel... please take a moment to reflect on the person who is telling you these things. Is this person incapable of handing their own or anyone else’s emotions in an adaptive way? Does this person seek to quiet you or shame you? 

Your experiences of emotion are real and important. I promise you this is true. If someone is making you feel like you are “crazy,” please consider what’s going on with that person before you conclude that you are flawed, bad, or wrong. Because you aren’t.